Erratic Thoughts

I seriously believe my 'issues' over the past few weeks/months are depression/anxiety.  I just read an article about depression/anxiety in people with MS.  I posted the most 'unscary' one on my Facebook.

My GP did put me on 60 mg of Cymbalta once per day when I got my diagnosis last year.  I'm thinking maybe it's not cutting it anymore.

I did seriously consider, on Wednesday, just packing up enough clothes, taking all of my paycheck out of the bank, and just driving off.  For about thirty minutes I considered this.  That scares me.  And, the only reason I didn't, I think, is because I felt so bad physically, I couldn't even think about packing up anything.  God works in mysterious ways 'they' say....and I'd have to say, yes, yes He does.  A horrible cold/sinus whatever probably kept me from making a huge error in judgement.

I was laying in bed last night, just thinking.  My committee never ceases.  Never.  My thoughts were from how much of a jacked up on/off relationship I've had with my real Father all of my life, to how much I miss my Mama, even after her homegoing 12 years ago, to how much I would love to have a Vintage Gas Stove.  Along with, how much longer can I function at work, how much longer can I deal with all the animals that I love so much but make me crazy with pet hair, and other stupid things that those adorable babies do.  Then thinking what a horrible person I am for thinking they that drive me crazy, they are ANIMALS.

Then, onto, I really should have washed all the bed linens last weekend.  Now I'm a week off.  The bathrooms need to be cleaned, I didn't get to THAT last weekend either.  Man, at the dust.  How CAN one house accumulate so much freakin' dust?  I DID dust last weekend.  And, on and off during the first part of the week.

Does anyone feel as crazy as I do now just READING this?

I will talk to my Doctor.  But then, I hate to medicate myself to where I just don't feel anything.  Then there is the weight gain.  Damned if I do...damned if I don't.